Monday, May 21, 2007

May 21
A Few Things I've decided.

Yesterday afternoon was spent having a heated discussion about landscaping.

I know it sounds dumb to say it was heated, but if you had heard the dumb shit my husband was suggesting you would of gotten pissed too. I do not understand him. He likes things low-key and simple. But yet, suggests the tackiest gawd awful shit for our yard.

We want something nice and eye catching for our lawn. We live on a big corner lot, and our house is the only one that faces west when all the other face north or south.

After much discussion we decided to head to Lowe's and look around and see how much it will be for some of the ideas we'd tossed around. Instead of turning left to go to Lowe's though, hubs turned right. Meaning that we were entering one of the "elite" neighborhoods. Ya know the ones that have some mansions, some castles, and then for some reason a few houses no bigger than ours but cost 9 times more because they have Rapunzels house next door.

That is where one of the things I decided came into play. Screw landscaping.

I want a new house.

Like a new big fabulous house. One that I picked the tile, the carpet, the wall color, the kitchen sink, the direction the staircase flows.

A house that is "us" from the embryonic stage, a house that says " hey bitches..Jess lives here and made me what I am, revel in my beauty and fabulousness !"

Yeah I know hubs, and the kids will live there too, but I'm the boss of things, so the house will have me to thank.

Now, the next step or the first step in the process of building my very own fairy tale house. Paying for it.

Did you know that a person can get between 5 and 15 grand for donating eggs ? Not chicken eggs, like the ovary kind.

Soo.....I should have at least 200 eggs that are good, 200 times let's say 10, well we could say 15 grand because my kids are beautiful. Ok 200 times 15 grand is.....3 million. 45% for taxes, right ? Just to be safe.

I mean I wonder if you have to pay taxes on that ? I would guess you do...that'd be a weird W-2 to fill out though. Ok, 200 times 15 grand equals 3 million minus 45% is 1,350,000. I'd put a million in the bank for my kids when they turn 21.

With the 350k I could build the house I want. I could do it for less, but I want good land too, oh and I'll need a big lawn mower....naw I want a hot gardner.

Oh pfftt...don't look at me like that. Next I was gonna say a hot maid for hubs to look at once a month.

Haha not that I've thought about any of that, I was just asking if you knew.

Ah, I forgot too that the other thing I'd buy would be a new Tahoe. I'm not normally a Chevy fan, but the new Tahoe's are beautimous !

I have also decided that since none of the above statements will ever really happen that someone will just have to give me a house.

Alrighty, while I eagerly await the email saying I've just received my house, I'm gonna go water my lawn.


Just A Girl said...

Oh thank God...I can finally leave a freaking comment!

When you receive that email, please kindly forward the sending address this way.

Proto said...

I think that I can fit my mini in the back of a Tahoe. After three new houses in ten years, my mom finally said, no more new houses, I'm tired of all the decisions!