"Fighting fair" is not one of my strong points. Because, first of all that would entail letting the other person involved in the fight get a word in edgewise, and secondly the other person would have to produce a written list of things that I have done wrong. And, since neither one of those ever apply, I always win.
If I have known you more than 3 minutes, I have an arsenal of things to use against you when the need arises. Now, at the time they happen they might of not seemed so "bad", but give me 9 seconds to think about it and I can turn that shit right on around .
Hubs and I rarely really "fight", we bicker alot, but when we do "fight" it's best for everyone not involved to take cover, and/or take notes.
~~We've been bantering back and forth for weeks about the toilet in the upstairs hallway. The same toilet that I have "toiled" (haha) away on many many times trying to get it to work properly. Each and everytime I tell hubs about my toilet adventures, how I replaced this, adjusted that, etc. Not one time has he decided that he should fix it. Because A: he can't fix it, and B: ok there is no "B" he just can't fix it.
After I have told him a million times that a new toilet is order, he decides now that he will "just fix it. " Hmmm how nice of you to offer your plumbing expertise ...I mean not once have I tried to fix this problem, so thank goodness you..the man of the house, have come along and finally decided to fix the toilet !~~
"Hey honey, c'mere and take a look I fixed the toilet !"
*walk upstairs rolling my eyes*
"Uhm why is the bowl filled to the brim with water ?"
"Oh because that'll help it flush better."
"Uhm no it won't the reason the level was down to begin with is because I adjusted it when it kept overflowing --because the water level was too HIGH. Honey it's a gravity flow toilet, we need one that has that power flush thing that the new ones have."
"No we don't dammit ! This one works now and it's fine !"
*Take a deep breath*
"Ya know what ?! Ok fine it's fixed and the next time one of the kids pukes in it and I flush it and it fucking overflows, and I have to fix it again then what ?!?!? "
"Fuck it nevermind..."
He walks off...I follow because I am not done talking yet.
"Yep you fixed it alright ! Thank you for taking time out of your busy fucking day to fix it and save me the trouble.....the trouble that I have already done trying to fix the sonofabitch ! Wow...thanks for saving the fucking day ! If you could of "fixed" it then what the fuck have I been doing working on it this whole time when all along you could of just FIXED it !?!?!?"
*Hubs stomps downstairs to FIX another toilet down there that overflows that I ALREADY fixed*
"Oh yeah now you're gonna go fix on a toilet that's already FIXED ?!? You know what would be nice is if you could work on shit around here that is really broken ! That'd be great !
Orrrrr you know what else would be fanfuckingtastic ?!?! If you could do the shit you "promise" to do..ya know the shit you say "Oh I'll do it I promise just remind me".....Remind you ?!?!?
~*****~Let's Explore this a bit more ! :" REMIND YOU ?
"Remind you that it's Monday and take the trash out ?!?--"
"Whatever Jess"
"Remind you that one of us has to sit with the truck for 4 hours to get rear brakes put on ? "
"Remind you that the yard is 4 feet tall ? "
"Oh do I need to remind you too that when it's too hot for you to mow the lawn that it is TOO FUCKING hot to go golfing ?!!? "
"Remind you that one of us has to shovel the snow..."
"Remind you that I am here with 3 vomiting and snot faced kids when you go out for a couple of beers at noon and call me at 4 to tell me that you are still there ?!? Who the fuck calls to let a person know they are still there ?!?!? And why ?!? Obviously you are still there, and obviously I didn't REMIND you that the other two kids get out of school at 3:30 so to be home before then so I don't have to take these 4 foot tall spewing volcanoes in the truck with me ! ? It's my own fault I suppose because I didn't remind you. "
"Although I know for a fact that I REMINDED you not too drink more than a couple..for some reason...what was it again ....? Hmmm Oh yeah....IT WAS BECAUSE I NEEDED YOU HOME !"
"Yeah Jess you're right I'm an asshole and you're always right..*sigh* yep I'm a dickhead"
##See that up there ^ he thinks that it gets to me when he does that..pfft I'm over it.##
"Oh I know this was a "very important work thing"....FYI on that very important work thing ---just because there are people at the bar that you work with does not make it a work thing. And, pretending that all these people just "showed up" so you had to stay is bullshit. If you had not spoken to them 4 times throughout the day beforehand and accidental "showing up" might be believable....Ok ya know what I'm done, I have a headache now and I'm getting the girls their dinner. "
"I made chicken soup over mashed potatoes for them...oh and yours is sitting on the stove too I made ya a big bowl of SHUT THE FUCK UP. " ~****~
Ha ! I have a ton of shit to remind you about..the thing is how's come you tell me to remind you and when I do you tell me to stop bitching ?!?!?! Fucker.
