Tell the Truth
How many times have you "Googled" your name...real name...blog name...maiden name ?....Really tell the truth !
Now...tooting my little horn...isn't a norm for me unless it involves some sort of bad ass deal I found. Ya know great jeans at 75% off regular price,,,etc.
But today ....I can't help it !
In January I think it was ? The person(s) at Nebraska Arts Preserve found me...and for some unkown reason , they liked me. I figure they are into drugs but hey that's not my business.
Then, in February, I was mentioned in a local newspaper called "The Reader".
Later , in April or May, I was invited to be on a panel, and do some altered book art, at the "OmahaLitFest", by an award winning Omaha author...who happens to live quite close to me...Timothy Schaffert. (Who drinks martinis at noon...so that's his reason ;)
Honestly...I thought the offer was sort of a joke, or one of those invitations that aren't really meant to be accepted...ya know ?
Like when you see a snooty mom from the school and you say
" oh we'll have to get together sometime"...when you know damn well you're not gonna call that bitch.
Well.....by golly ...they put my name on the website so I guess they ain't kiddin' !
I mean ...my name . is. on. the fucking. page.
Really it is...I Googled it dammit !
Smack my ass and call me Sally .
My name ? Is on the page ? With REAL authors ? Sonofabitch. This was really cool and fun and neat-o, until I realized that I am going to be in with people who get paid to write shit. I've read their shit..and it's good shit. I've paid to read some of their shit, some of you have paid to read it !
I have so much to do before September...
First of all, I'm gonna need someone to hold this developing fetus for me.
Second, my hair...what am I gonna do with my hair ?!?!
Oh back to the fetus thing. What am I going to WEAR ? Ugh !
By September my choices in clothes will be narrowed to what Omaha Tent and Awning carries, so I hope they have something besides the striped tents. You think they'd make me a tent of black leather ?
And, if I act like a fucktard I won't be able to blame alcohol, because that whole getting wasted while pregnant thing is pretty taboo 'round these parts.
So if you should decide to come, look for me . I'll be the black leather blob in the corner , the sound of the leather squeaking will be obvious because I'll be sobbing, pretending that I forgot to take my meds for schizophrenia.